Author Archives: theprissytomboy

Daddy’s Girl: Part II

daddysgirlii“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

As I got older, those rose colored glasses that I was rocking were eventually exchanged for a pair of 3D glasses. The little bit of connection with the man I barely knew but so affectionately referred to as “daddy,” just seemed to blow up in my face over a period of time. The gifts became empty promises and those daddy/daughter dates that I enjoyed so much would often end with me waiting anxiously for his arrival – with him not even showing up or calling to simply say he was not going to make it.

During my middle and high school years, I can probably count on one hand (maybe one and half) the number of times that Robert came to see me. I stored painful feelings of anger, inadequacy, disappointment and rejection along with fleeting memories of him into my mental Rolodex.

What I would acknowledge as the lowest of lows in our relationship happened during my freshman year of college. I don’t recollect what we talked about on the phone but I do remember how I felt. I started asking myself, “What did I do?” “Why didn’t he call to check on me?” “Did he stop calling me because he no longer had a financial obligation of paying child support?” After that moment, I became very promiscuous and looked to sex as a coping mechanism. Young and restless, I thought that having sex was a way to get and show love. Little did I know that the instant gratification was producing anything but love.

This dangerous pattern continued throughout college and well into my adult life. The relationship with Robert was still strained and I just couldn’t bring myself to focus on the positive aspect of it all: I still had a plethora of people that loved me more than I could ever know but I yearned for that picturesque relationship with my father.

While it tremendously pained my momma to see me, her baby girl, cry out of frustration she did the best to console me and say, “That’s your daddy. You gotta love him.” I have never recalled a time when she ever spoke against him to me or around me. She tells me often, that even though their marriage didn’t work out, she was blessed by God to be my mother and to have me as her daughter.

Even though my momma would attempt to console me more times than not, the words she spoke to me would practically go through one ear and out the other. However, her seeds of love were being planted and would begin to blossom in my heart.

11391374_10101448092108937_8848646508238588152_n

What is a Prissy Tomboy?

Hello again Queens!

I know some you may have been thinking and wondering, “So what exactly is a Prissy Tomboy anyway?” When developing my brand my baby, one of my ultimate goals was to create something that felt like a sisterhood, ya know? A tribe of unique yet like minded women that others and myself could bond with despite our geographical boundary lines. One thing I do know is that my brand is not for every woman! I would be crazy to think every woman would describe herself as a Prissy Tomboy BUT at the end of the day, I do believe that more of ya’ll can identify with the “term of endearment” than not!

We have embarked on a time where more and more women are no longer wanting to conform to what society thinks they should be, especially my melanated sisters. We want to break molds and not be put into a box of any sorts! Oh my goodness, it’s such a beautiful thing to see ya’ll flourishin’ in so many different ways! YASSSSS!

Anywho, I digress! While I think The Prissy Tomboy culture is more than just a few bullet points, I just wanted to share some of them with you. 

She is an eclectic, savvy and strong (mentally and physically, but most important spiritually) woman who enjoys the process of life and remembers that it is a journey, not a sprint.

She is a queen who recognizes that she is beautifully and perfectly flawed and ebbs when others flow.

She lives a colorful life, is full of pizzazz and spunk, and embraces her differences with no need of validation from ANYone.

She loves stilettos but sneakers are her first love. With a closet full of closes, she loves to play “dress up” for special occasions, BUT you can still find her sporting a pair of denim jeans, a graphic tee and some fresh sneakers or casual flats on a typical day.

Overall to know her is to love her. She’s a self-professed foodies, she never settles for less than what she wants, obstacles don’t hinder her; they grow her. She loves to travel and gain experiences from different people and places, and the lifestyle world is her oyster.

Are you a Prissy Tomboy?

Daddy’s Girl: Part 1

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” (Psalm 27:10 NLT)

A father teaching his baby girl how to ride a bike, patiently instructing her how to drive a car, consoling her when her heart has been broken by a guy, sending her off to the prom and the most coveted display of affection that every woman hopes to experience; a bride sharing a tender moment on the dance floor during the father/daughter dance at her wedding. Whether it’s watching a commercial, going to the movies or witnessing the above mentioned scenarios in real life, you simply cannot escape seeing the loving bond between a daughter and her father. These are some of the moments that may create warm and fuzzy nostalgic memories for some but for me and others they are more so bittersweet fantasies that we have always dreamed of living out in reality with our fathers.

A young Patty with my father.

A young Patty with my father.

Like myself and many other women, I grew up without my father being present. In my case, I was too busy living my life like it was golden as any little girl should, rocking rose colored glasses and completely oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t in my life full time. My mother who was a full time public school educator and my dad who served in the military and later as a correctional officer, divorced when I was 18 months old. Even though their relationship did not last, God strategically placed individuals, like my grandfather and other male figures, in my life who surrounded me with love on all sides and (over) compensated for the missing piece of the pie.

I never knew much about my father except I was his only child, he remarried, lived two hours away from me and I was a spitting image of him. He would call, send gifts on special occasions and come visit me from time to time. Every time I had the opportunity to hear his voice or spend time in his presence even if it was for a small amount of time, I always remember beaming with joy. I never wanted those precious moments with him to end because I knew it would be possibly be another six months to a year before I would see him again.

Even the busyness of being an innocent child who was maturing wasn’t enough to keep me shielded from the emotional pain that I experienced from the increasing absence of my father.

Who Is Patty B.?

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. {Proverbs 13:12}

Hello Queens! First things first. Some of you may know me but for those that don’t, allow me to introduce myself to you all! My God given name is Patrice but more affectionately I am known as Patty B. Born and raised in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia which may not be considered a southern state by some; I am a self professed G.R.I.T.S. For those who aren’t too familiar with the acronym it stands for Girl Raised In The South! I am a sassy multi-faceted creative that thrives off of culture, swanky ambiances, very good food, meaningful relationships and so much more!

As a creative visionary, I am a passionate woman and that has been blessed with so many gifts and talents. Trying to figure out my purpose and knowing exactly how to integrate it with the “desires of my heart” has taken quite some time. I have to admit that it took some failures, deep soul searching, being honest with myself and allowing Jesus to “take the wheel” for the pieces to start to come together. In doing so, He ushered some dynamic women into my life that have assisted and continually assist me in organizing all of my thoughts, be examples of what it means to be confident (in Him) and how to curate a cohesive brand!

Even though I’ve served others by helping them bring their ideas to fruition visually, strategically building and curating a cohesive brand is a completely different thing. I have come to learn that brand strategy is in a league of it’s own. Strategizing is not a walk in the park by ANY means. The first haul of strategy sessions with Deonna of BrandSmash Studio are complete but the process still continues. God, who is such a good Daddy, is continually showing me how to walk in the true essence of myself through Him. My life coach Lioness Latrece Williams of McKnight Williams & Associates is showing me how to ROAR and confidently tell people who I am. My family, boyfriend and intimate circle of friends have been nothing but supportive through it all! There are periods of uncertainty where my fears outweigh my faith and I just wanna be “comfortable.” Some days are productive and some are not but through the good and the bad, I continue to push because this brand it not just for me but for ya’ll too!

With all that said, I am my brand. I am Patty B also known as The Prissy Tomboy who has been sassy since ‘83!

cropped-ThePrissyTomboy_header_wp.jpg

I am lifestyle blogger + event designer who shares effortless style, transparency and storytelling. I work with prissy tomboys and visionaries who want to embrace their uniqueness with dope and fresh products, stationery and invitations. I seek to help my clients stand in their purpose and create meaningful relationships through genuine connection; to cultivate fresh cultural experiences that are buzz-worthy; bring fun and change to social issues; and to get back to the old way of doing things by resurrecting the lost art of handwriting, gifting, and connecting.

This is just the beginning ladies and I will continue to keep you posted on everything that makes up the Patty B. brand. Matter of factly, sisters, I welcome you to hold me accountable to stay committed to the journey.

Peace + Blessings,

pattyb_crown

 Patty B. aka The Prissy Tomboy